Just an ordinary morning in the ashram.

Just an ordinary morning in the ashram.

Some people say it is just another ordinary morning, but I do not feel it that way.

When waking up, I heart July, my Canadian neighbour, playing the bango and singing songs of freedom and soul. And then, going down to get my coffee, I passed the room of Vanessa , my South African neighbour, and saw her sewing the dress that she designed herself. Yeah, only one more day left before she can wear it on the birthday party she has invited us to. On my way down, I cross the veranda, where it is still cool. The soft breeze, is full of smell from the earth and the sea, … but dominant is the smell of the kitchen, where Nagama, our lady from Pondicherry, is cooking our lunch. I get my coffee, get my way up again to my room. And while sitting on the bed and sipping my coffee, I hear the sounds of the birds, especialy the one that sings something like ´te veo´, and in Spanish it means ´I see you ´ and my thoughts wander of to the book of Aldous Huxley, The Island where the birds say : here and now . It has been over 20 years ago that I read the book, maybe I just have to read it again … I have a look in my dad´s library when I go back home. Sadly, I never did that when he was alife, and now that he is gone, it seems like for the first time I am interested in knowing who he was and his library is showing a great deal about him ….

Coffee finished. I am going to the roof terrace where we have massage class as it is just another ordinary friday morning. Ewa and Kamil, a young Polish couple, are going up the stairs in front of me. They will give the masage to eachother. I see how this fineboned, suntanned, slim, blond Polish godess is taking care of her partner , with love and dedication and a nice smile on her face. And Kamil enjoying every step that she takes on top of him. I am looking for a partner. I want to give and receive. But I mostly want to give. I have been receiving and watching many times now. Vicky, the Scottish nurse, first wants to watch. Miska, the Finnish lad, is already ´booked´with Lotus , from Vancouver. Sakurako, the Dutch- Australian – Japanese lady wants to have a massage from Whitney, not trusting anyone else. She is a little sore on her back and wants to receive the massage from somebody with a lot of practice. I can understand. I gave her once, and as it was only my second time, I think she did not realy enjoy it. But she does not dare to say it to Whitney when he kind of signs us up together. So I say it in her place. There goes my chance of giving … Wait there is Heather, Whitney´s wife. But where has she gone to …. ??? What is it that I always end up not giving ? What is the script and role that I am playing over and over again ? I have to express myself better next time and not be so hesitant, thinking that I am not doing it good enough... The same old story : thinking that I am not good enough …. This is my drama and the role I play. A bit silly, isn´t it. In the end, I do receive a nice masage from Sakurako. Her pressure is so right and she takes the steps so sure of herself. I was so relaxed that I did not even notice that she had done the ´Charlie Chaplin´twice.

I am going down again to my room and I think how wonderfull and splendid this morning is, full of sounds and smells and people loving and caring and expressing themselves. A morning full of promises and good energy. A morning to cherish every second by feeling good and ok. A sunny morning shared with my ´Adams family ´ in this house called Mata Shree on Galgibaga beach. This morning my mind is not going to the problems of the past, nor to the problems waiting for me at home. This morning I am here and feeling good and aware of what I am, can and where I have to change my limits. A morning where I hear the ´teveo´birth and in my memory the ´here and now´

No, this definitely is not just another ordinary morning ….

EvaMaria